Thursday, November 12, 2009

Never thought about this before!

(You can find the beginning of our adoption story here.)

Part 14

Bonding. I don't think I'd given it a moment's thought with my other children. They were mine. I was theirs.

But now, our little girl was in another state. We couldn't see or touch her, much less HOLD her, until we'd satisfied the requirements of her state and ours for adoption. We were missing out on those precious first months of love and attachment.

I wasn't really anxious, but I was thinking about it--about her older years in particular. What if our daughter ever wondered who she really is and who she really belongs to?

What could I show her then that would say, "We have loved you from before we ever knew you. You are ours. We are yours. Even before you came into our family, we were longing for you and preparing for you.

At a handcraft boutique, I bought a cute wooden cabinet with 4 tiny drawers and a door--perfect for a girl's treasures.

That mostly-pink quilt top that I'd pieced but never finished because no boy would want it? I machine quilted and finished it for Talitha.

I made a simple brown cloth doll. And I made matching outfits for the doll and Talitha.

A piece of colorful material from my recent Asia trip, I made into a baby-sized comforter.

Arby's was having an annual special offer with purchase. They were clear glasses with dark blue stems. I ate a lot at Arby's those weeks and collected a set of a dozen to save for Talitha to have when she's older.

Even more important than her bonding with us would be her realization that God has known her and cared for her from long before she was even conceived. And so I spent hours over a hymnal choosing Talitha's hymn, the song she would hear more than any other as I rocked her and put her to bed and most any other time a mother might sing to her child throughout her life.

Children of the Heavenly Father reminds her that God is the Father who is all that a human parent can't be. We will die someday and leave her, but "God his children ne'er forsaketh."

Children of the heav’nly Father
Safely in His bosom gather;
Nestling bird nor star in Heaven
Such a refuge e’er was given.

God His own doth tend and nourish;
In His holy courts they flourish;
From all evil things He spares them;
In His mighty arms He bears them.

Neither life nor death shall ever
From the Lord His children sever;
Unto them His grace He showeth,
And their sorrows all He knoweth.

Praise the Lord in joyful numbers:

Your Protector never slumbers.

At the will of your Defender
Ev’ry foeman must surrender.

Though He giveth or He taketh,
God His children ne’er forsaketh;
His the loving purpose solely
To preserve them pure and holy.

(to be continued)

Part 15


Sunny Ellis said...

I'm planning on buying a journal to write and pray in for our little one (whoever he/she is). I don't know when we will see our next child or if he or she is alive yet, but I love him or her already. I've been praying that God prepares just the right baby and just the right birth mother for us.

I would love to know what challenges you faced with adopting a child from a different race.

Anonymous said...

I am so enjoying reading the story of your adoption. My husband and I are in that place of having conversation after conversation about adoption. We have three young sons and cannot get pregnant again for medical reasons. I feel strongly that God has put adoption on my heart. My husband is still thinking and praying through everything. I recently wrote him a letter much like you wrote John a letter explaining your heart for adoption. As I think about it, however, writing is how I speak the most clearly and probably now how my husband does! He works in finance, so maybe I should have made him a spreadsheet! Your story is very encouraging. I appreciate the example you set in praying for and respecting your husband. I love that John saw your trust in the "sufficiency of prayer". I so often pray about things after I have done everything else in my own strength, but this is a reminder to pray first. And often. I believe God will use your story to stir a heart for adoption in many people. Thank you for being faithful.

Beth Nordquist said...

It must have been about this time when, after almost eight loooong weeks of waiting, we finally got the call on a Tuesday evening that Miriam would be coming home to us on Saturday. We were so excited, then, to go to church Wednesday night and share our happy news. How well I remember one of the first responses we got: "You'll never guess who else is adopting!"

This especially tickled us, because when Brent had asked Pastor John just a few months before if he would be willing to provide a reference for us, he looked around to make sure you weren't within earshot before he answered, explaining how much you were wanting to adopt. How we laughed with joy when we heard your news!

What a time that was!

Andie said...

had to comment here, too. I have been doing this type of "nesting" much more for this adopted child that I did for my "homemade" children as I have heard them called. I think it is really helpful to do something tangible since we don't get the pregnancy part of preparation.